Shockingly Searching for Glasses in the Peace Corps

I saw the craziest thing behind my Georgian tutor’s apartment: a guy welding. Ok, that’s not the crazy part though-he wasn’t protecting his eyes with anything. He wasn’t even squinting! The brilliant white arc was just scorching his retinas. My eyes hurt just catching a glance from twenty feet away. He was staring at that arc like a farsighted man trying to read a nutrition label.How crazy was this guy? Suddenly, a thought shot through my mind, Georgians don’t wear glasses.

Flashes of every one of the 198 kids at my school shot through mind trying to recall if any of them wear glasses…. Not even one is bespectacled. I was walking around through the center of town looking for every man, woman, and child trying to spot some spectacles. No glasses to be seen. I saw some sunglasses, but only the ugly 90’s ones that are all the rage in this country for some reason. Had anyone else noticed this phenomenon? Not the ugly sunglasses trend (that’s very clear), but the glaring lack of real glasses.

Why are these a thing?

Maybe other volunteers had noticed the same thing I had. I started asking around to others, and they were seeing the same thing as me. They mentioned seeing people in the capital, Tbilisi, wearing glasses, but I was focused on the rest of the country. Someone threw out the idea that maybe Georgians just have amazing eyesight, but I was skeptical. My inclinations led me to ask someone from the Caucasian persuasion, a Georgian, to get to the bottom of this once and for all.

I decided to speak with my counterpart because she’s my best (and only) consistent convenient option for daily cultural insights. In her opinion, parents don’t want their kids to look weak by wearing glasses. To make a long story short, glasses aren’t cool. People don’t want to be seen in glasses. GLASSES ARE FOR NERDS. The cost might be an issue as well, but I’m just spit-balling here. One thing is for certain though, Georgians do not possess super human 20/20 eyesight.

Georgia has a definite need for everyone to get an eye exam in this country. I would love to partner with an organization that would be willing to provide free eye exams and glasses to children who need it. Kids have a hard-enough time staying focused in school, and eyesight shouldn’t be the causation. Glasses are cool. I’m not just saying that because I wear them-my wife tells me I look great. If she’s saying it, it must be true.

Having a Dog in the Peace Corps

I’ve always had dogs growing up as a child, but that came to a screeching halt when I left for college. The reason why was simple. I could ‘t have a dog at most of the apartments I lived in, and I worked too much to provide the amount of time a dog deserves and needs. Eventually, when I stop moving around (if that ever happens), I will have a dog.

Low and behold, in late September I was walking outside into the backyard, and I see a puppy chained up to the once-vacant doghouse. The chain was several sizes too big and would have been better for locking up a motorcycle instead of a Cocker Spaniel. I immediately lost my shit. We never expected to have a pet in the Peace Corps! I ran inside to ask my host family where the dog came from, and they told me our neighbors gave him to us. The dog also shared the same name as U2’s lead singer, Bono. The similarities end there though because Bono the dog does not possess the singing ability or the desire to rid the world of HIV.

I ran back out to play with him and pet him, and I noticed that something was wrong with his stomach. It was extremely swollen, hard, and protruding from his sides unnaturally. He had some difficulty in breathing and was wheezing a little bit. I thought that he was suffering from bloat, and was afraid that what Rawan wrote about was going to happen all over again. Fortunately, Bono didn’t have bloat. He was just extremely overfed, and his stomach shrunk down to normal the next day. Unfortunately, Bono being overfed would become a common occurrence.

Bono & Rawan

Typically, dogs in Georgia are not fed very well. You will see many stray tags with colored tags on their ears indicating that they have been given shots. The dogs will be lying on the sidewalk conserving energy or hovering around patrons of restaurants for table scraps. Most of the dogs in my city are extremely friendly, and will almost instantly fall in love you if you pet them. Keep in mind that Georgians do not touch these stray dogs, and you will set off the “weird foreigner alert” if you show any kindness to the strays. Dogs are infrequently kept as pets for companionship, but you will see them in villages to help heard cows and other animals. Village dogs, in my experience, aren’t very friendly and were a constant stressor in my life. The Peace Corps had to teach us that we should pretend to pick up a rock to scare away aggressive dogs. Those dogs often aren’t fed or treated very well, so it was common to see them starving hungry.

Bono is not going hungry in Georgia. My host family lets no food go to waste; they feed all the old food to the dog. Nothing goes in the trash. Bono eats almost a half a loaf of bread every day, triple-fried potatoes, and whatever random thing that wasn’t eaten. I tried to tell my family he’s eating too much, but they’re unaware of the fact that dogs don’t get “full.” They keep telling me that he’s so hungry, and I keep saying he’s getting big. Then, my family laughs and says, “Yeah, he eats a lot.” To top it all off, our neighbor uses Bono as her garbage disposal too, so he’s eating two households worth of old food as a 5-month-old cocker spaniel. That’s like shoving the population of China into the state of Texas. It’ll fit, but it’s going to need some rapid expansion.

***

Flash forward nearly two months later, and Bono is the same loveable dog I met months ago. He knows how to sit, lie down, and bark on command. He also loves sitting on feet (very weird). Oh, he’s also really fat now (surprise…surprise). His entire body is a love handle, and he runs a 15-minute mile. Rawan and I recently moved into our own place sans Bono, and I was Bono’s only source of exercise… God help that poor, chubby dog. He was getting fat when I was there. I don’t even want to imagine how fat he’s going to become now. It’s a real possibly he could become the fattest dog in Georgia.

Killing Me with Kindness

After nearly three months, my school finally started last Friday. And it couldn’t have started soon enough because I was running out of things to talk about on here.

My school is great, but there’s one big problem. The teachers I work with are too nice. When the Georgian language teacher is not showering me with compliments about my looks (Justin looks like a handsome Georgian man.) and 3rd-grade Georgian language skills (Justin’s Georgian is great!), the other teachers are peppering me with little jabs of kindness left and right. I’m not talking about one or two teachers either; the kindness crew is six strong and growing. They feed me. They make my tea. They always give me directions on how to get home. They disregard my reminders that I know how to get home by now because I’ve been living here for 3 months. I’m like their big, bald, 28-year-old Peace Corps man-child who can’t make it on his own.

marshutka

One of their common tactics is paying for my bus (They are called marshutkas here.). Marshutkas run almost all day, and many people use them to get around; they cost about 20 cents. Not much right? So I will be sitting in the window seat with a rando Georgian sitting next to me because it’s a bus, and random people sit next to each other. Gee, Justin can you explain more obvious things to us? At this moment a teacher I work with will hop on the marshutka. The teachers I work with always get off before me because I don’t live close, and right before they get off, they look back at me and smile. By this point, I already know the deed is done, and there is nothing I can do to stop it. The teacher will say, “I’m paying for you; it’s my treat!” and hop off the marshutka. I can’t stop it. They won’t let me pay them back either. They are the Antonio Browns of paying for bus fare-flawless execution and quickness.

Can I interest you in these nuts?
Can I interest you in these nuts?

How can I pay them back? I got peanuts. Literally, I’ve got peanuts. I’m in the teachers’ lounge offering teachers my nuts during every free period. I’m pitching peanuts like peanuts are paying me more than peanuts. I’ve won over a few teachers, but progress is slow. I’ve tried telling them that peanuts are a great source of protein, niacin, and monosaturated fats. It kinda gets lost in translation, so I just say my nuts have lots of vitamins.

 

You Only Say That Once Here

Some things start awkward, but then time passes and you understand culturally that it’s not awkward. It’s been five months, and it’s still awkward. Georgians only say hello to acknowledge someone’s presence once in a day. When I see my host family in the morning, we say hello, but they’ll only say hello once. If I say hello a second time in a day, I get nothing. No small talk. No hand wave. No, “Hey Justin, how was your day?” I don’t even get a head nod. All I get is this:

Hello......
Hello……

As an American, I feel compelled to constantly say hello and exchange pleasantries. Foreigners have to be taught that Americans don’t want to be your friend just because they’re talking to you. We just act nice and talk to strangers because it’s in our culture. Try only acknowledging a person once in a day in the States. It’s weird. People are going to think you have Aspergers….

fuck-me-right

It’s just the normal thing here, so I’ve started starring down people too; I’m embracing it. It’ll only be weird when I get back to the States, but that’s a problem for future Justin.

An Observation I’ve Observed

Last week I got back from the YMCA. I got myself clean. I had a few good meals and an overall fun stay at the YMCA. The “Y” didn’t have everything, but I did get to hang out with all the boys… at the Peace Corps’ annual BUILD camp!

It's fun to stay at the YMCA!
It’s fun to stay at the YMCA!

I’m sure you’re wondering, “Justin, what does BUILD stand for?” Well Clifford, BUILD is an acronym for Boys United in Leadership Development. We help facilitate a weeklong camp for teenage boys with Georgian counselors; it’s edutainment at it’s finest. Boys learn how to improve their communities, their health, and their professional careers. Overall, it was a great camp, only two kids went to the hospital (concussion & high fever) and food poisoning was minimal.

Observation: Georgian Kids are Way too Competitive

Georgian kids go nuts for competitive games. They basically become Michael Jordan going for his fourth ring. They are going for the win at all costs, and they will put their bodies on the line for the “W.” Let me use the story of how the first kid got hospitalized as an example. We were playing “extreme bingo,” which, in retrospect, was a terrible idea. Extreme bingo is a myriad of teamwork-based challenges where you have to go under and over a limbo rope creatively. One particular challenge required getting one person over the limbo rope without touching the rope. In theory, I imagined the boys working as a team to lift one of the boys over the rope and help lower him down gently on the other side. Confidence was high with this belief-I can’t stress that enough. Confidence was so high that I rejected the initial limbo rope height. “Lets put the rope higher and give them a challenge,” I said. We moved the rope up to five feet. Guess which hospitalizations story this will be. I remember my thought process exactly, and it went like this:

I’m holding the limbo rope. One team is boosting up their scrawniest kid on the back of another kid. Great! They’re working as team! Wait… Why is human stool kid getting up from all fours? He’s boosting scrawny kid higher. Oh dear God, that scrawny kid is up high; he’s up seven feet standing. Scrawny boy is losing his balance, and he’s putting his hands on the human stool’s shoulders for support. Whew…He’s balanced now. The rest of the four boys that aren’t part of the scrawny boy human stool combination are getting behind both of them. Why isn’t anyone on the other side of the rope to help lower scrawny boy down? This doesn’t look good. IS ANYONE ELSE SEEING THIS RIGHT NOW? The pack of boys are flipping scrawny boy over the rope. Oh god he’s cleared the rope and falling. THUD! He landed flat on his back. It’s so painful; I’m cringing watching him writhe. I’m looking right in the eyes of the other counselor holding the rope, and I can tell were both thinking the same things. We should have kept the rope low.

If you’re concerned with the kid’s health, have no fear. The concussed kid ended up being okay, and we took the proper measures to notify his parents. He left camp with a cool, cold cloth on his head, a trip to the doctor, and a story to tell.

Want Some Oatmeal?

Well Peace Corps training (PST) is over, so it’s time to start writing. I would say it’s been awhile since my last post, but that would have required actual writing to have occurred. Now some of you might be wondering, “Justin, what have you been doing for there for three months?” Not important right now. I’m going to talk about my day today.

9:00AM- I wake up…and hit the snooze button.


9:10AM- I actually wake up this time, and I waste time reading on my phone, on the toilet, because I can do that now. No more squatting for Justin (fingers crossed). My new home has a nice toilet, and it’s all I ever wanted. A small part of me misses having a squat toilet, but I left that small part behind. Sweet sweet porcelain please don’t leave me again.


9:40AM- Rawan (kindly) reminds me that I don’t have work and asks me to make the oatmeal for breakfast. I don’t know the amount needed to boil, so she tells me we need three scoops of oatmeal and two scoops of water. I assumed that amount was for one person.


9:42AM- I put in six scoops of oatmeal and four scoops of water to boil.


9:43AM- I realize I put in way too much oatmeal, but I persevere, like a champ, and cook it all anyways. I’ll con Rawan into eating it.


9:47AM- I failed at convincing Rawan to eat the extra oatmeal, and a portion large enough to feed a slightly obese man will now go to waste. It’s also extra dry because the correct oatmeal to water ratio should have been three scoops of water to two cups of oatmeal not vice versa. Rawan says I should offer it to our host family.


9:55AM- Rawan leaves for work. The remaining oatmeal is still uneaten.


10:02AM- I dump the oatmeal without offering to anyone. Why? Our host family hates oatmeal; they don’t eat it. I know this because, when I first moved in, I asked them how to make the very oatmeal I’ve squandered today. They had no clue. The oatmeal is at least a year old. I wasn’t going to put them or myself through the hassle of them eating my crappy oatmeal. I don’t want them pretending to enjoy crappy oatmeal just to be nice. I ate it by choice, and I don’t even like it that much.


10:05AM-12:05PM- I play video games for 2 hours.


12:05PM-1:05PM I lied. I played video games for 3 hours.


1:06PM- Productivity strikes, and I get the contact information for potential Georgian tutors in my city, and learn how to get reimbursed for buying medicine (Maybe the $1.75 street food wasn’t a good idea).